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lil bit
Groomer

USA
46 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  4:18:17 PM  Show Profile  Visit lil bit's Homepage Send lil bit a Private Message
I have just purchased my first horse @3months ago. A 6yr.geilding QH.Me and my husband are brand new. I went to horse camps as a young kid (15yrs.ago). My husband has never been on one until we purchased Diago. He has learned to bridle,and saddle him with ease. And he can do it for me. The saddle is heavy and i am petite. I thought me have been around horses before would become a pro. Although it didnt turn out that way. My husband has done great with Diago and has gotten him to walk,trot,run, and obey with ease. Me I am scared. The horse knows this and will let you saddle and get on him without moving at all. He comes to us when we call him.And has rode several of our friends that are fairly new to horses. But when it comes to me he just dont move. He will not go know matter what i do. I pull his rein to go one way Nothing. The other way Nothing. I kick him to go straight. And he just stands there. He is never aggressive or tempermental, He just dont listen for me whatsoever. I have finally gotten him to move a little with me. But i dont want to make him mad by kicking too hard or using a whip. I am scared that he will run or try to buck me. Even though he hasnt implicated that this would happen. I love this horse and he seems to be really great. For everyone else! I truly think that it is not the horse but the person on the horse (ME). Any suggestions on if i should be firmer or just please help. I havent a clue on what to do? I am pretty soft spoken and deathly frightend. Any and all suggestions would be so great. Thanks..


lil bit

FLOOPER
Trail Boss (Moderator)



USA
2493 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  4:35:53 PM  Show Profile  Visit FLOOPER's Homepage Send FLOOPER a Private Message
Lilbit,

Welcome to the forum...you'll get plenty of advice here!! I think you need to do some groundwork with your horse. If you can get him to listen to you on the ground, and do what you ask, he is much more likely to do it when you are in the saddle. It sounds to me like he knows he doesn't have to do what you ask...in his mind, he is dominant over you, not you over him. Check out some books on ground training, or find out about trainers like Clinton Anderson, etc...they all have DVDs etc. that show you step-by-step how to work with your horse on the ground to develop trust and respect. Good luck, and keep coming to the forum...there are some REALLY smart horse people here. PS: I was new myself a year ago, and this place has helped me a whole lot.



Flooper

"Daddy, can you buy me a horsie?" "Sure honey, they can't cost THAT much."
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FLOOPER
Trail Boss (Moderator)



USA
2493 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  4:35:53 PM  Show Profile  Visit FLOOPER's Homepage Send FLOOPER a Private Message
Lilbit,

Welcome to the forum...you'll get plenty of advice here!! I think you need to do some groundwork with your horse. If you can get him to listen to you on the ground, and do what you ask, he is much more likely to do it when you are in the saddle. It sounds to me like he knows he doesn't have to do what you ask...in his mind, he is dominant over you, not you over him. Check out some books on ground training, or find out about trainers like Clinton Anderson, etc...they all have DVDs etc. that show you step-by-step how to work with your horse on the ground to develop trust and respect. Good luck, and keep coming to the forum...there are some REALLY smart horse people here. PS: I was new myself a year ago, and this place has helped me a whole lot.



Flooper

"Daddy, can you buy me a horsie?" "Sure honey, they can't cost THAT much."
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Hook
Trail Boss (Moderator)



Canada
6115 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  5:07:26 PM  Show Profile  Visit Hook's Homepage Send Hook a Private Message
HI From Canada. Welcome to the Forum. Just how petire are you. Some horse will be very careful with children and may be confusing you with a child.

You might want to try just sitting on him without any cues and see how long he stands. My guess is he will move if you have the patience.
Some times a repetative tapping of the heels coupled with slight pressure on one rein will get some mmovement which can be followed with the reward of released rein. Patience here not force will probably work.


Ed

"How Tyme Flys"
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Hook
Trail Boss (Moderator)



Canada
6115 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  5:07:26 PM  Show Profile  Visit Hook's Homepage Send Hook a Private Message
HI From Canada. Welcome to the Forum. Just how petire are you. Some horse will be very careful with children and may be confusing you with a child.

You might want to try just sitting on him without any cues and see how long he stands. My guess is he will move if you have the patience.
Some times a repetative tapping of the heels coupled with slight pressure on one rein will get some mmovement which can be followed with the reward of released rein. Patience here not force will probably work.


Ed

"How Tyme Flys"
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ttyndale
Trainer

USA
744 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  5:39:08 PM  Show Profile  Visit ttyndale's Homepage Send ttyndale a Private Message
Sounds to me that you are going to have to get your confidence up. Horses can definitely sense when you are afraid and they know when you are not in charge just like you say.

My thought is that you need to begin by taking some lessons to build up your confidence level. I don't think that you are going to have much success until that confidence level gets up and you learn how to relax.

Yes, please do stick around and keep us updated. Take your time you don't have anything to prove.
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ttyndale
Trainer

USA
744 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  5:39:08 PM  Show Profile  Visit ttyndale's Homepage Send ttyndale a Private Message
Sounds to me that you are going to have to get your confidence up. Horses can definitely sense when you are afraid and they know when you are not in charge just like you say.

My thought is that you need to begin by taking some lessons to build up your confidence level. I don't think that you are going to have much success until that confidence level gets up and you learn how to relax.

Yes, please do stick around and keep us updated. Take your time you don't have anything to prove.
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CassMJJ
Beginning Rider



146 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  6:58:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit CassMJJ's Homepage Send CassMJJ a Private Message
Welcome Lil bit

I agree with Ttyndale, take some lessons build up your confidents.

If you want the horse to respect you give him reason to, by letting him get away with things your causeing more harm than good, your teaching him that he can do basicly whatever he want and give him the impression oh she's not going to do anything about it, so why not?

He sounds like a nice, respectable horse, what is to fear?

Horse's sense our emotions and it's best to just be relaxed, your relaxed, he's relaxed, your tense, he's tense. I hope that is understandable.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-The more people I meet the more I love my horse...aint that the truth
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Cassie_/Pasture/specialness.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a283/AQHATiger/Kelvins%20Polly%20Chex/f341673b.jpg
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CassMJJ
Beginning Rider



146 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2005 :  6:58:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit CassMJJ's Homepage Send CassMJJ a Private Message
Welcome Lil bit

I agree with Ttyndale, take some lessons build up your confidents.

If you want the horse to respect you give him reason to, by letting him get away with things your causeing more harm than good, your teaching him that he can do basicly whatever he want and give him the impression oh she's not going to do anything about it, so why not?

He sounds like a nice, respectable horse, what is to fear?

Horse's sense our emotions and it's best to just be relaxed, your relaxed, he's relaxed, your tense, he's tense. I hope that is understandable.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-The more people I meet the more I love my horse...aint that the truth
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Cassie_/Pasture/specialness.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a283/AQHATiger/Kelvins%20Polly%20Chex/f341673b.jpg
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  10:28:32 AM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
Hi, lil bit. Welcome.
I would second what Troy and others have said. Take some lessons. Explain to the instructor in the beginning about your situation and fears. They will probably tell you some specific things to do with your horse. And groundwork is very important also. Your instructor should be able to help you with that, too.
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  10:28:32 AM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
Hi, lil bit. Welcome.
I would second what Troy and others have said. Take some lessons. Explain to the instructor in the beginning about your situation and fears. They will probably tell you some specific things to do with your horse. And groundwork is very important also. Your instructor should be able to help you with that, too.
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fracturedbones
Clinician



3424 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  12:19:04 PM  Show Profile  Visit fracturedbones's Homepage Send fracturedbones a Private Message
Welcome to the DE!

Been there! Agree with everyone's thoughts. One thing I found, the more ground work I did, the less afraid I became of horses and their antics. You learn to read them better and deal with the behaviors without risking falling off. They learn to respect what you are asking of them. Kind of a win win situation. Highly recommend Anderson...not only for the step by step approach but GREAT doses of horse psychology easily understood...shows how things are when they go right as well as an errant horse who is resistant and how to correct it.

Still have my own share of battles. But the ground work will also give you the tools to translate into the saddle which makes you more confident.
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fracturedbones
Clinician



3424 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  12:19:04 PM  Show Profile  Visit fracturedbones's Homepage Send fracturedbones a Private Message
Welcome to the DE!

Been there! Agree with everyone's thoughts. One thing I found, the more ground work I did, the less afraid I became of horses and their antics. You learn to read them better and deal with the behaviors without risking falling off. They learn to respect what you are asking of them. Kind of a win win situation. Highly recommend Anderson...not only for the step by step approach but GREAT doses of horse psychology easily understood...shows how things are when they go right as well as an errant horse who is resistant and how to correct it.

Still have my own share of battles. But the ground work will also give you the tools to translate into the saddle which makes you more confident.
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PaintGal
Trail Boss (Moderator)



USA
5300 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  1:25:45 PM  Show Profile Send PaintGal a Private Message
Hi Lil Bit!

I can't add anything to what's already been said but wanted to welcome you to the board!

Karen ~ Trails
&
Joe 6 y/o Paint
Paoli, IN USA


~~~~~~
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PaintGal
Trail Boss (Moderator)



USA
5300 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  1:25:45 PM  Show Profile Send PaintGal a Private Message
Hi Lil Bit!

I can't add anything to what's already been said but wanted to welcome you to the board!

Karen ~ Trails
&
Joe 6 y/o Paint
Paoli, IN USA


~~~~~~
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lil bit
Groomer

USA
46 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  2:36:50 PM  Show Profile  Visit lil bit's Homepage Send lil bit a Private Message
I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me to the forum and everyone who responded. And i am going to get out their and do some ground work with him this weekend. I think that some alone time without my husband with the horse will help him see me as his owner also. Hook i am 4'10" so it is very possible he thinks im a child. I am a little confused on what yall mean by groundwork though. I feel silly but i said i was brand new. I assume it means walking him and getting him to stop when i want him too?? I am also going to check into lessons next week. Thanks for all your great advice. And keep it coming because im definately listening.

lil bit
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lil bit
Groomer

USA
46 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  2:36:50 PM  Show Profile  Visit lil bit's Homepage Send lil bit a Private Message
I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me to the forum and everyone who responded. And i am going to get out their and do some ground work with him this weekend. I think that some alone time without my husband with the horse will help him see me as his owner also. Hook i am 4'10" so it is very possible he thinks im a child. I am a little confused on what yall mean by groundwork though. I feel silly but i said i was brand new. I assume it means walking him and getting him to stop when i want him too?? I am also going to check into lessons next week. Thanks for all your great advice. And keep it coming because im definately listening.

lil bit
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  3:04:43 PM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
First of all, a note of caution. As a beginner, and since you still need to establish your relationship with your horse, I would do the work while someone else is there with you, either your husband who could just stand back and observe, or some other adult (just in case of an accident).

Groundwork would include such things as catching, haltering, leading, stopping, turning, stepping away with the hind quarters, backing, lunging, directing and driving while on a lead, etc. Also teaching him manners and respecting your space. You can find lots of information on the internet about all of these things. Also, Google search for information about learning to read the horse's body language and how to use the proper body language yourself. Horses are masters at reading body language. Also, read some articles about safety around your horse. You do need to have a healthy respect for the dangers involved with being around horses because they have such a size and strength advantage on you. But by learning and applying the proper techniques, you can remain safe, have fun, and develop a good relationship with your horse without having undue fears. I would definitely take the lessons or get some expert help.

Edited by - hmeyer on 11/10/2005 3:07:55 PM
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2005 :  3:04:43 PM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
First of all, a note of caution. As a beginner, and since you still need to establish your relationship with your horse, I would do the work while someone else is there with you, either your husband who could just stand back and observe, or some other adult (just in case of an accident).

Groundwork would include such things as catching, haltering, leading, stopping, turning, stepping away with the hind quarters, backing, lunging, directing and driving while on a lead, etc. Also teaching him manners and respecting your space. You can find lots of information on the internet about all of these things. Also, Google search for information about learning to read the horse's body language and how to use the proper body language yourself. Horses are masters at reading body language. Also, read some articles about safety around your horse. You do need to have a healthy respect for the dangers involved with being around horses because they have such a size and strength advantage on you. But by learning and applying the proper techniques, you can remain safe, have fun, and develop a good relationship with your horse without having undue fears. I would definitely take the lessons or get some expert help.

Edited by - hmeyer on 11/10/2005 3:07:55 PM
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lil bit
Groomer

USA
46 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  2:56:21 PM  Show Profile  Visit lil bit's Homepage Send lil bit a Private Message
just a quick note to say i've been doing groundwork with diago, and he is doing good. I got on him yesterday with supervision. And he did great. i was able to steer him away from my husband and make him turn for me. Also was able to get him to go down the hill and thru the a small shallow section of the pond. Still pretty nervous but making progress. Cant wait to get off work and get out their with my horse. Thanks for all the great advice.

lil bit
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lil bit
Groomer

USA
46 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  2:56:21 PM  Show Profile  Visit lil bit's Homepage Send lil bit a Private Message
just a quick note to say i've been doing groundwork with diago, and he is doing good. I got on him yesterday with supervision. And he did great. i was able to steer him away from my husband and make him turn for me. Also was able to get him to go down the hill and thru the a small shallow section of the pond. Still pretty nervous but making progress. Cant wait to get off work and get out their with my horse. Thanks for all the great advice.

lil bit
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  3:05:32 PM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
Great news! Congratulations!
Just be sure to try to relax when riding him. He will be able to sense when you are nervous and tense.
It's all downhill from here!
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hmeyer
Clinician



USA
2194 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  3:05:32 PM  Show Profile Send hmeyer a Private Message
Great news! Congratulations!
Just be sure to try to relax when riding him. He will be able to sense when you are nervous and tense.
It's all downhill from here!
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Hook
Trail Boss (Moderator)



Canada
6115 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  5:04:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit Hook's Homepage Send Hook a Private Message
Great news. Keep us posted on your progress.

Ed

"How Tyme Flys"
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Hook
Trail Boss (Moderator)



Canada
6115 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  5:04:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit Hook's Homepage Send Hook a Private Message
Great news. Keep us posted on your progress.

Ed

"How Tyme Flys"
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ttyndale
Trainer

USA
744 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2005 :  6:23:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit ttyndale's Homepage Send ttyndale a Private Message
Hey, that's what it is all about, one small step at a time. Sooner than you know it you will hitting the ground running.
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